† > i

all good things - vaguely

2008-11-12T09:20:00.003-05:00

i seriously hope that this is not history repeating itself.
i need you here, ...and you too.
don't let this go to shambles.

seriously? seriously.

2008-11-10T20:23:00.001-05:00

Lord it was You,
You created the heavens.
And Lord, it was Your hands
That put the stars in their place.
Lord, it was Your voice
That commands the morning.
'Cause even oceans and their waves bow at your feet, O Lord.

Lord, who am I
Compared to Your glory?
Lord, who am I
Compared to Your majesty?

'Cause I'm your beloved,
Your creation,
And You love me as I am.
You've called me, chosen
For Your kingdom.
Unashamed to call me your own-
I'm your beloved.

-your beloved; vineyard
appease your ears

writer's block

2008-11-08T22:46:00.003-05:00

trying to convince people whom you've never met that you are worth their time, energy, and resources is a hard thing. this task of having to write letters of intent and personal statements has been met with much resistance, hesitation, and procrastination (i.e. right now!)

having been brought up in a chinese (albeit whitewashed) family has taught me to be humble, to never flaunt your successes and achievements, yet to use my skills to build and encourage those around me up. being a follower of Christ has encouraged and forced me to take this humility to a whole new level, with Him being the perfect example.

maybe this is why i hate talking about myself, why i find it so hard to share. ah but i am getting off topic.

so with 5000 characters i, along with hundreds/thousands of other applicants, are supposed to reveal why we are one above the rest, why we are deserving of the 60 spots in the program when over 800 will apply.

philippians 2 provides us with guidelines in imitating Christ's humility; guidelines that are seemingly totally contradictory to what we are supposed to do with these letters:
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

haaaaaa!
hmmm! much wisdom is needed!
i hope i can best do this to exemplify what God has blessed me with - my upbringing, my experiences, my passions, interests, and skills. i want to know more about this humility thing.. this considering others better than myself.. yet at the same time how does one get through this world that we're called to be a part of? this dog-fight-dog, best man wins, survival of the fittest attitude?

anyway. how refreshing to know and trust that these things are,in the end, not under my control.

i know that if this route of being an occupational therapist is for me, then it shall. i don't believe my human shortcomings in writing, or in academics, is enough to screw up the plans of Him who with a few words spoke the universe to be :)

ps. i miss home!

wise

2008-11-07T10:48:00.003-05:00

watch over your heart with all diligence,
for from it flows the springs of life

pr4-23

2008-07-02T23:42:00.000-04:00

summer 2008;

{edit draft . . .}

2008-04-24T22:47:00.003-04:00

dear blogger,
its been awhile since i've really updated you, and unfortunately i don't think now's the time to fully do so either but guess what(!) i got a phone call today saying that i was chosen to work with Extend-a-Family here in Kingston this summer! So of course i tried to contain my excitement over the phone and not sound too silly. But i'm so thankful.

and to top it all off they asked me how i felt about working with the youngest group (age 4-7)! Now you know i love kids, and you may not have known but i had secretly wanted to work with this group moreso than the other ones; however, i didn't say anything because i just wanted an opportunity to work with these people, no matter their age. but someone =) knows me much more than even the workers at EAF, and definitely provided with much more than what i dared to ask for!

anyway, i have one more exam tomorrow so i must get going, but i am definitely excited to work at this camp this summer; i know it'll be a huge challenge, working with children of such young age, of such innocence and beauty and joy, yet held back because of some sort of disability (be it physical, social, behavioural, mental, or multiples of the above). i might have to change diapers, i might see seizures, i might have to learn to communicate through my actions to a deaf and mute child, i might have to feed a child through a tube. i can only hope that the care and love i show to them will not be of my own.

i know i won't always muster up myself the patience, the kindness, the energy, the enthusiasm, the humility, but i know that i'm not in this myself.

& i can't wait to go home in 2 weeks!

until next time, blogger,
-feef.

2008-04-18T10:54:00.005-04:00

wearing ear plugs makes me feel like i have enlarged external auditory canals.
i customized mine.
the purpose of ear plugs?

keep the good stuff from going in one ear. and out the other.

(: press on, friends! the sunshine's waiting on ya.

3 minutes of !!!!

2008-04-12T00:41:00.008-04:00

im so thankful that my nalgene wasn't 1 inch closer to my laptop because that spill could have taken a huge turn for the worst. Those few drops that caused a momentary lapse in keyboard functioning could have easily been 500mL of brita-ed water frying my laptop.

and thank you that i could still back up my stuff with a working keypad. now my stuff's up to date to the date, and not only to 2 weeks ago (when i thought my lappy was a goner)!

(:
5 minutes of total panic and anxiety. thanks for placing you on my mind first thing. before all else (: ... i guess this is trivial in hindsight, even now.
but you control even all the little and trivial things (:

back to blowdrying my carpet...

ps. i like how you saved my bible. which was in somewhat of a direct line of spillage. funny how water hops over things as it splashes... :D

(old)friends

2008-04-06T23:32:00.001-04:00

"you know how they say university is the setting in which you meet the people with whom you'll be friends for the rest of your life. i certainly hope that this isn't one of those pseudo-statistics/cliches that get flung around. and even if so ... no, it can't be. we'll prove them wrong.

sitting in the barren basement of the library with stacks of notes around you isn't supposed to elicit this type of emotion.
maybe its the piano music i stole from a friend.
but either way, my thoughts have drifted away from those of biology and psychology and matters of the brain to the matters of the heart that reside deep inside.

tomorrow is grad night.
and here i sit with that feeling you get in your throat just before you break down in tears."

***

well that was my unfinished post from 3 days ago.
grad night has come and gone, and so have my momentary lapses into reality.
it may seem silly, to suppress and hide, maybe like climbing up onto the next rung of the ladder with each day you're in denial... ultimately setting yourself up for the big fall? but im not ready to let go yet.

***

there are so many of you.
you've taken me so high, above and beyond any ladder i could climb myself or had imagined coming into this.

mmm human emotions. this isn't the time nor place for me to fully express what i want to say, what i feel. so.
until next time, or i finally pull myself together:
our {chinese}lodge(ladies)(love) family portrait.

2008-03-11T14:47:00.003-04:00

(:
i love how when people are brought together we can be united cause of you.
brrr'p.
thanks You(guys)!

a child of light

2008-02-27T22:20:00.006-05:00

Sanctify me
Clean out my closet
Take away anything
That is not pleasing to You

Purify me
Destroy all my anger
Wash away everything
That is not pleasing to You

**
I will be white as snow
I will be pure as gold
Jesus my heart must know
I'm pleasing to You

I give my life my all
Taking the cross I will follow
Jesus my heart must know
I'm pleasing to You
**

* *

..Sanctify me
. You are the light to guide me
. To the place where I am
. Only pleasing to You

. Oh come and Purify me Lord
. I need your light inside me
. So the darkness flees
. And I can be pleasing to You

_jared anderson/desperation band

tuesday's thoughts

2008-02-05T14:03:00.000-05:00

i believe that if it ever came to, i'd be categorized as a fast walker.
i like being on time. i hate having others wait for me. something is always in the need of 'being done' - even if it's just so i can maximize my nap time/efficiency.
and so i tend to rush a lot.

today i was making the short trek home after handing in an assignment and i suddenly felt the need to slow down. i became aware of how quick my pace was, how fast my feet were moving.

hmm and so i slowed down. and maybe it's psychological but right away i felt as though my lung capacity increased from not having to work as rapidly, my breaths were fuller.

hmm and those shrubs outside dupuis hall? i actually took note of their twig physiology. how they have opposite leaf buds and a single, semi sharp bud at the tip. now how many times a day do i walk by dupuis hall... hundreds of times later, i finally looked up and noticed what was there all along.

maybe it's just the after-effects of going on a 'twig-identification field trip' yesterday with the biology crew... i'm still not at the point where i'd take my tree-ID key with me, no matter how slow i decide to walk from now on. perhaps a new goal? to walk at a pace leisurely enough for me to identify all the vegetation from my house to my destination.

(:

2008-01-16T02:21:00.001-05:00

haven't been up this late in a long time; at least not in a state where im sitting up with lights turned on, mind empty and scrambling but heart full and heavy.

tis been a long week thus far upon returning to Kingston, being sick did not add well to the adjustment - back to the groove, to the schedule and routine and chicken-thigh deprivation. (i dont understand how i can go the day before and after my housemate, and yet she manages to come back with boneless, skinless thighs. perhaps they stocked right after i went to the store and sold out that very same night?!!)

How fitting that I came across the verses today, the verse that would be part of our theme for PHO Real at the beginning of last semester.
2 peter 1:3-9

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodnes. through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption int he world caused by evil desires.

For this very reason, make every efffort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.

For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

i ask people jokingly all the time, i guess it's my catch phrase almost, if 'you're fo real?!'

Pure and Holy Obsession. PHO Real.
im glad i finally mustered up the courage to ask myself the very same question.
surely we (all) can change.

the ramblings of a codeine-filled brain at 2:30am. ta da.

..codeine for the cough.

2008-01-09T22:10:00.000-05:00

i've never paid full full full attention to this song and its lyrics before - its always just played in the background.. but coming back on the plane/bus..JM on replay... the words struck me for the first time, and they hit at exactly the right spot.

No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Don't know how else to say it
Don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight
You renegotiate"

"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"

Once in awhile, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can
Cause now I see I will never stop this train

more on my train and the stops that were Christmas 07 later

think & recount

2007-12-31T18:51:00.000-05:00

mmm thoughts in my head, this last day of 2007...

at home in vancouver this past year, the underlying theme was the fellowship of the believers, taken out of Acts. yesterday, the last sermon of 2007 wrapped it up. pj termed it 'habitual proximity' cause the fellowship was possible due to two things: consistency/regularity, and proximity. day by day they met. day by day they gathered, prayed, and broke bread together; their time was shared, and all was shared in that time. that's hard to find these days.

i realized just how lucky i was to have CCF in Kingston. we joke about how close we live to each other, and how 5 minutes away is too far. but really, we're all so blessed. To be able to live across the street from each other, the fact one door will always be open, that meals will be shared (heh esp. during exams), a listening ear, prayers even before you ask for them - these things are all God given.

here at home, or even with people from Queen's... when proximity isn't possible, it's your attitude that matters. your mind and soul will make up for the distance. the key component? glad and sincere hearts, taken straight out of verse 46.
if we bring ourselves back to the basics, taking what God gave us with glad hearts, and sending it back out to others sincerely, we will have a great church. we will have great fellowship. we will be a true family. we will lead great lives.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
- Philippians 4:8

the definition of think (thanks, dictionary.com) is this: to have a conscious mind, to some extent of reasoning, remembering experiences, etc. recounting the past, dwelling on situations or behaviours.

to lead a "great life" is perhaps a life of peace, of which God's is most important. if you're able to sleep well at night. if you're able to have clarity of mind. your life is great. to dwell on the traits that paul listed above... you've either got to learn from human examples, or put yourself into situations with these traits.

pastor justin made a good point... if you look back on the years past, in 2007. the things that you don't want to carry over in 2008, they aren't of these characteristics. but of all the things that you loved, that were memorable, that you want to cherish... those are the things that are true, that are noble, that are excellent and praiseworthy.

heh we did an activity during service. it looks like this:
___________2007_____________ 2008___________
true
noble
right
pure
lovely
admirable

i encourage you to do so. write down the things of the past year that were of these traits. they're all around you, from nature, to cell bio textbooks, to ministries to friendships to family.
think hard, ask God to remind you of such things. write them down, and carry them through onto 2008.

in the bible Paul finishes with this" whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

if you're reading this, chances are you're one of the people i thank God daily for. you have been to me: true, noble, right, pure, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. and i give many thanks for that and how much
you've taught me.

i want to know God's peace. and i hope you'll be free and open to experience it too. let him surprise you and show you the truth.

Happy New Years (:

2007-12-26T03:04:00.000-05:00

family
health
home
true homies
queen's
snow in Vancouver on Christmas day
big huge furry toques that jump out at you from the box

You
the greatest gift of all.

bring me back to this.

you dance over me

2007-12-03T13:15:00.000-05:00

i pray through these next two weeks. through these exams.
i pray through my anxieties and what they do

amaze me.

2007-11-30T23:36:00.000-05:00

"attention please,
there is an order of chinese food here for pick-up at the front entrance"

stauffer library PA announcement.

poetry

2007-11-28T21:11:00.000-05:00

"After awhile you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept
your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
burns if you get too much so you plant your
own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn...
and you learn"

-veronica shoffstall

2007-11-26T11:32:00.000-05:00

when you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of rightesouness. what benefit did you reap at that time from the things you're now ashamed of? those things will result in death! but now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life

romans 6:21-22

viv i sent my son to die for you.
is that not enough?

..cant do this without you.

patience.

2007-11-21T10:46:00.000-05:00

a perfect (negative) correlation:
the amount of time that's elapsed in the school year, and the amount of time that is left.

every day onwards is a day gone.

i feel like we're playing a game of heads up poker...
i took my turn, made my move
my wager is clearly laid out on the table for you to see
it's evident what is on the line
and now its your turn

i guess some people are slower to make their move than others
thats ok
i just ... im not folding. my cards are good.
i just wanted to remind you that its your turn
because after you lay down your bet, theres nothing left to do

but wait.
and see if the 'game' means as much to you as it does to me.
i think i may be growing tired of waiting
i just need to know you're still in.

...
and the half year mark is approaching.

lets see where this takes me.

2007-11-13T13:47:00.000-05:00

i haven't blogged in a long time; a lot of things have happened, but at the same time it seems as though I could have erased the past few weeks altogether, and it would not have made a difference as to where i stand today.

actually that's just the optimist in me speak, because i have been slipping.
i guess thats why i haven't blogged, or haven't talked about my issues. because
a) i'm fine living in ignorance
b) i don't have the words to describe what i'm going through in ways that would fully explain

or maybe it's c) i've been running for so long that i've lost sight of the start/finish. i've taken on so many detours and distractions that i don't know where i'm going, don't remember where i come from.

mm lessons of late?
my words, my actions, my thoughts. they are all a reflection of my heart and where i stand. is my truth based on relativism? is it based upon other's standards? ... or even my own?

at church awhile back we had a guest speaker. and she was talking about the importance of character, and how everything you do stems from where your beliefs lie. at the end of the day, all these things go back to the question of 'who is in control of your life, who has complete sovereignty and authority' or perhaps in a more applicable sense. are you in control of your life? or is God?

i was talking to a friend the other day and she was talking about consciously making the decision each time, each day, to not be led in her walk by emotions. emotions waver, emotions change. they bring you up and bring you down. that takes a lot of strength. props.

the believer's freedom. how many times do the Corinthians retort "everything is permissible," only to have Paul throw it back in their faces: "Do not be mastered by anything.Not everything is beneficial. Not everything is constructive. " it's kind of funny cause i never really noticed that Paul was quoting the Corinthians so it kind of puts it all in a new context...to see them almost arguing, that they had the freedom to do as they pleased.

teachings from this weekend on Ruth - You too, can become your own worst enemy..just look at Naiomi in chapter 1. and it all started with her moving from Bethleham to Moab. They picked up everything, and decided for themselves that they would leave God's land, they didn't want His blessings, and decided to bless themselves by walking away. that was only the first of many subsequent step... and that's all it took.

self-control is something that i know i need to work on; not only in the outward actions and expressions, but more importantly the things inside. the heart is so easily swayed. the things that tear you up inside one day ... you disregard and continue doing the next.it's so simple, especially with the little things. it all starts with those.

im thankful You dont change.

..."So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved" 1 cor 10:31-33

im sorry for bringing youguys/You down.
...i... want to want to work on it. pray for me friends. i need to want it first.

mm this blog took me on a wild ride. heh i guess this is the platform of vulnerability....
im told i dont share enough - this is partly why. thanks for listening.

2007-10-31T10:47:00.000-04:00

Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need
- meredith grey

words of the day

2007-10-21T16:43:00.001-04:00

"the only failure is disobedience"
-dq kk.

2007-10-20T20:00:00.000-04:00

as i bladed in a hurried rush to volunteer at the hospital..the world was a blur, admittingly mostly due to my semi-comatose-state ..
but one thing i noticed

were the vibrant colours of fall, displayed in all their mightly glory. loudly shouting: of joy, of excitement, of life
patients always ask me about the weather outside; i guess they don't get a chance to head out too much while they're in the hospital
but though you can't feel the cool breeze in your face, or the fragrances the grass gives off, or hear the sounds of cars zooming by. your eyes can still take it in

today i met a lady who was in her 100th year of life here on earth. her name is mildred, we called her millie.
i thought she was 70 at most.
she was so ... cool.
seriously- chatty, making jokes, reading romance novels, sitting looking ever so content in her wheelchair behind a pot of brightly coloured flowers - gifts from loved ones.

she fell last night and cut her elbow so she didn't feel like going to the gym and working out. but she told her roommate to work hard for the both of them. and that she'd watch her her roommate's bed for her. and when we came back, she saw us from down the hall. put down her book. grinned, and waved.

she's been able to experience 100 autumns.
how cool is that.
& though it'd be neat to feel this way.. this indescribable feeling.. 100 times
it shouldn't take away from the individual event.
each year.. each season.. each day. is a gift from above.

anyway. [ end incoherent & uneloquent thoughts here ]

God is good

2007-10-15T17:40:00.000-04:00

so don't take your eyes off of him.
he delivers, every single time.
there is hope. have faith, for
he will never fail you, or abandon you
his perfect love can, and will, drive out your fear.

cast your cares uponhim and he will sustain you.

For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you. isaiah 41:13

unclench
and
breathe.

God is good. ALL the time.

1am crisis

2007-10-12T00:56:00.000-04:00

v: so here's my dilemma
b: ok... whats up
v: i really have to go pee; but if im going to make the trip upstairs i might as well brush my teeth, right?
b: right
v: so, i really have to pee and consequently brush my teeth, but i also have half a mug of tea left. so i cant decide if i want to hold it in and enjoy, or just let it go and go.
b: ...
v: forget it i need to go use the facilities

... makes the trek upstairs.
... someone's using the washroom with my toothbrush in it.

:(

(: i like you neighbour.

from everlasting to everlasting

2007-10-09T21:54:00.000-04:00

how much more does our God love and care for you, than your closest friends in the world?
how much more does our God lavish out His blessings, his grace, his mercy, his comfort, his peace, than those that care about you most?
how much more does He hurt when you hurt?
how much more does He long to hold you than a parent holding their crying child?

how much more is His love ...

more than the birds of the air and the creatures of the sea
more than the sun and the stars in the sky
more than you can take in
more than you can imagine
more than you can understand
more than you dare to dream

thanks,my friend. for your words, both said and unsaid, and for your prayer.

Pure and Holy Obsession

2007-09-29T10:36:00.000-04:00

to foster in everyone, an insatiable hunger and thirst for God, and subsequently a yearning to commit to a life that boldly proclaims holiness and godliness; a life set apart from others

1 peter 1:15-16
2 timothy 1:7
2 peter 1:3

(: what a great start is has been thus far; thank you for the past week, last night & for all the glorious things to come.

im excited for us!

brrrrp we're pho real.

raise your head

2007-09-25T13:39:00.000-04:00

Love is passing by.

nature has always had a special effect on my heart.
these past few days, these were the burning bushes.

the crashing waves that dull to a quiet roar,
the clustering of all the clouds in the sky to one spot, behind which the sun's rays shone through,
the stars and the moon and the rooftop,
the squirrel striking a pose on the fence top,
the changing colours throughout the campus.

and i would have missed it all, if i hadn't looked up.

it's so easy to become fixated on the things that clutter our paths, to be submerged in the busyness of our schedules, of meetings, of gatherings, to be overwhelmed and directionless and confused. but above all, he is good.

'the heavens are telling of the glory of God;
and their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.
day to day pours forth speech,
and night to night reveals knowledge.
there is no speech, nor are there words;
their voice is not heard.
their line has gone out through all the earth,
and their utterances to the end of the world.'

-psalm 19: 1-4 NASB

how timely and deliberate of you. (: Lord i'm amazed by you.

the biggest virtual hug possible

2007-09-16T17:24:00.000-04:00

hey you,

i know you're upset, dissapointed, mad, and frustrated right now;
my heart's aching with yours.

at the same time, both you and i know that you gave it your EVERYTHING, and thats all anyone could ever ask for. you know that we're so proud of you, and you don't need this to please us, to amaze us, or to make us love you more. your heart alone is so much more than what we deserve to know or see.

there is always a next time. and now, keep your head up and channel it into what you already have. seriously, we are so incredibly proud of you and you should be of yourself. this doesn't define you or your abilities. remember that.

you're always going to be prostar in my eyes; in more ways than this.
i wish i could be there with you.
call me when you're ready.

love,
me

where the heart at.

2007-09-14T11:25:00.000-04:00

its so easy to be misguided and naive to the things of the world, causing us to wander from the place we were told to stay and enjoy. kind of like how a toddler is placed in a playpen to revel in the company of other children, but it's not good enough. she wants to explore, and her curiosity, along with the enticing attractive objects and people and events all around, gets a hold of her. she doesn't know how big the world really is, how dangerous it can be, and how vulnerable her heart is.

daddy speaks.

1 Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong;

2 for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

-David, Psalm 37

trust, delight, commit, be still, wait patiently.

... like a cool person said. patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit for a reason.

...& i think verse 3 is especially cool.

'trust... dwell in the land, and enjoy SAFE pasture.' Kinda cute.. G's playpen for.. us? til we're mature enough to know better? until we're ready to be guided and led by Him into thenext adventure? (:

2007-09-10T09:30:00.000-04:00

here we go.

his divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

for this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness;
and to goodness, knowledge;
and to knowledge, self control;
and to self control, perseverance;
and to perseverance, godliness;
and to godliness, brotherly kindness;
and to brotherly kindness, love.

for if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductiec in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

2pet3-8

true, false, or neither?

2007-09-05T08:40:00.003-04:00

"Don't make someone your priority when they only make you an option"

i guess i'll take it, with a grain of salt?

ramblings i need to remember

2007-08-26T04:32:00.000-04:00

-two posts in 1 day. im on a roll.

so you've been learning a lot on this trip (the past few days especially) about

family
strangers
myself
relationships
people in general.

from the glamourous shoppers in Rodeo Drive to their gardeners in Beverly Hills, to the homeless in Tijuana, to even more of your sister's weird quirks just when you thought you knew them all (err hitting yourself on the head to see if what i said meets what you think i'd say??).

viv don't forget the hour trolley ride to Tijuana, where the random 20 year old (seemingly gangsta) caucasian guy got up so you could have his seat. or casually overhearing the conversation between the couple and the young man sitting beside you. at first you thought they knew one another by the sounds of their conversation, but 35 minutes later the couple got off at their designated station and wished the guy goodbye, with an "it was nice meeting you, bro." remember that you thought at first these were all sketchy people, you WERE in a pretty run down part of the city at the time.

but the guy beside you, in the baggy baggy polo with the flipped up collar, the rings on his fingers and the skateboard between his legs. under his baseball cap with the flat brim, he tells his story to the couple.
he's 20 and in the navy; in cali for the first time training,
he has an 18 year old sister who got married just so she could leave home.
that he was adopted and he has other siblings with whom he hasnt contacted in years,
that he liked to "have fun, but knew when responsibilities come first"
he cares about his sister a lot. he loves her deeply, but she wants nothing to do with him.
...
that he has a personal, deep fulfilling, joyous relationship with the Lord God Almighty.

-
and the couple, the bald black man and the caucasian lady.
he appeared to be around 25, she 30. but later you find out that he's 46 and she 48.
again, not exactly clean cut,
but you hear their conversation viv, and you are absolutely just blown away at their words.
the way they listened to the guy's story
the way they gave him advice
the words that they spoke

... "don't stop going to church man"

.... "in order to be a leader you have to first be a follower; never stop learning man, always leave room in your mind for more"

....."you have a sister, what they call siblings man. but does she know that you love her? you gotta let her know man, you gotta let her know. family. you're all that she's got, your mom's preaching righteousness, probably why she left home right? ... you're all she's got man. let her know you love her."
(no matter how creepy this makes me sound. we were on seats facing one another & i really had no choice but to be the silent listener in their conversation)
---
remember how His word kept replaying in your mind this past little while.

4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. matthew 7:4-5

---

remember what your mom said awhile back
remember these sights
remember humility
remember humility.

---
God i know you've been placing these people and these incidents in my life for a reason. and i now recognize it all. Father forgive me for I have been so over my head. in pride, acting in haste in judging and correcting others. who am i to have said or think or done any of the things that i did. even the silent thoughts, they are not ones of righteousness, of love, of humility. You alone are perfect, let me not forget that. help me remember. help me love. teach me.(:

los angeles

2007-08-26T04:09:00.001-04:00

post script from san fran:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

rock that beach !

yeah thats right, hot surfer men for ya! (look close.. real close)

(:

the chinese tour meeting point

car crazed.

san francisco:

2007-08-22T03:49:00.000-04:00

i luuuuurrrrrve sea lions!!!!!

pictures don't do them justice - wait til you see the videos of them barking and wrestling!

oh & i guess the rest of san fran IS beautiful;

the zig-zag hill, golden gate bridge, the wharf, alcatraz, the pacific, the sour dough bread, the houses and HILLS and cable cars. it's just like it looks in Full House - TV doesn't lie!

oh and the self-cleaning and disinfecting washrooms where they clean everything and wash the floors and air dry it all in between occupants. you get a maximum of 20 minutes in this bomb-shelter-look-alike before the doors pop open and you find yourself exposed to the 10,000 tourists that frequent the city. best eat them veggies before you lock them doors!

(:

next up - onto the land of mickey. & beaches where 'hunks work out' hahahaha. so says the tour guide book!

2007-08-18T00:35:00.000-04:00

conviction can come in the most unexpected places

any love i've had has gone directly inward this summer
in the totally selfish most obnoxious way
& reading the parables of the 10 minas today led me to reflect again on how i've been using the things i have been blessed with. i think i can identify with one of the characters and it is not the first two men.
but as His timing is always perfect, your words kind of sealed the deal.
.

though you may not see this, thanks for your email. your straightforward, most genuine words spoke of love of compassion of care of His work in your life
i'm excited for us

"the passionate pursuit of God and holiness such that anybody, Christian or non-Christian, will see us as men and women of God. let us lead by example and have a contagious hunger for God and a life of purity and blamelessness."

2007-08-09T08:41:00.000-04:00

i dont know if you've noticed, or if you share my sentiments. but i miss you.
the bond that we had,
the friendship that we had,
the closeness and the desire to be that way,
the talks,
the messages,
the trips,
the sharing life
& the sharing of life.

to be honest with you i feel like i've been repeatedly running into a transparent wall these past few months
it hurts me, but that would just be selfish
but it really hurts me, to see you like this.

i can only help and offer what limited advice and wisdom i have if you want it.
i want to be there for you
to cry with you
to laugh with you
to poke fun at you
and have you intimidate me because you're taller

i realize i havent been the best of friends
i haven't been around
but i hope you know that despite all of that, of all the people in the world, you come first

i feel like this is the only way i can get my thoughts out because frankly, trying to start a conversation and maintaining it has been.. tough. to be perfectly honest i feel like i'm talking to.. a robot with 1 word replies. and then i just feel dumb asking the questions.

i dont know when you're going to read this
but when you do... i dont know. i've never been one for confrontations, especially with stuff like this, it's my weakness. you know that.
is this one of those things we must acknowledge? your call.

maybe we can both try a little bit harder? well, i know i will be trying harder... i just don't want to tread on your toes. i've been doing that a lot lately,in my efforts, or so i thought, in helping you.. in guiding you.

i'm sorry for all the things i said & for all the things i did not say.
my heart has been so burdened lately. i miss you.

maybe this whole sha-pow wasn't necessary, but
i just wish i could love you better.
anyway, this has been one long emo post. thinking about you keeps me up.
i love you and im here for you.
...................................................S4L
we're for life. we have no choice(:

2007-07-31T21:32:00.000-04:00

continue praying for the korean missionaries in afghanistan.

the whole world is watching
may Your glory be revealed in this time

she says it well

2007-07-27T17:18:00.000-04:00

To hang between two thieves in the darkness
Love must believe you are worth it
You're worth it

-nichole nordeman's 'hold on'

what a song.

ah kids

2007-07-27T01:26:00.000-04:00

i've blogged in the past about children before...
about their simple nature
of their carefree spirits
and how true it is, in all aspects, that to be childlike...
is to be true to yourself
and true to those around you.

heh.
little 5 year old girls blatently showing her affection towards a fellow day camper, or the 'ew they have cooties stage' which resulted in a battle of the sexes with yours truly being dunked in the dunk tank by all the 'manly men' of the kids camp "i wanna hit the giiirrrrrrlllll!"

or the way they totally engage themselves in the actions and the clapping and the singing of opening and closing chapel

or the way they obliviously pick their noses...

(:
being around them really sets you free.

2007-07-20T15:43:00.001-04:00

lemon toothpaste...
it's like, brushing your teeth with a jolly rancher.

who does that.
well i did.
but seriously.

2007-07-16T10:54:00.000-04:00

it's ___ that my best friend who lives literally down the street says 'i really miss you viv'
it's ___ that my grandma who lives 3 minutes away says 'you know i love spending time with you, why don't we do it more often'
it's ___ that my sister and i have to meet up at 1am because that the only time where we actually... have time
& it's ___that everyone else...
.
& then there's the other world.

time..
is short
& of the essence

how cliche.

___ for lack of words.

in the midst of our darkness and sin ... it IS Your light that shines through. your character that never ceases to amaze, your promises that never fail to come true, your love that ... is all encompassing, all powerful, that protects and trusts and hopes and perseveres. your love that never fails...you lavish on us, on me. i thank you for these convictions; for reminding me and showing me where i am falling short. i want to love like you jesus; to have the same compassion and kindness, to be gentle and patient, to not be selfish anymore because thats all that i have been lately. may my actions conincide with my words, and may my words not simply be words, but a reflection of my heart that is striving to be in tune with Yours. teach and guide me...

__
4 hours and 3 hours of lseep later-
wow God that came really quickly and unexpectedly. and to watch it all unfold before my eyes in a matter of minutes and hours. to so quickly put this before me.
You are God alone & thats just the way it is.,

mid-night convo.

2007-07-13T04:02:00.000-04:00

|| viv w || says:
are you hungry
im hungry
.
chelseawong, says:
..sort of
LOL
.

chelseawong, says:
FATTY FAT FAT.
ITS NOT ALOWED.
.
|| viv w || says:
yes we can
i went for a run hahahah
.
chelseawong, says:
oh right
and i um
..well i took care of 7 kids today!
mmmmm, gelato's too fat.
i think.
cereal?
..i find this a bit sad that you're less than 20 ft away from me
.
|| viv w || says:
mmm cereal could work
.
chelseawong, says:
haha
shall we?
=)
and when are we meeting?
lets say, pantry, 5 min?
.
|| viv w || says:
hahahahah
T-5

hahahaha. much love to the sister.
don't hurt me in our next pantry rendezvous k? tis alllll fun and games ;)

"oh, dear"

2007-07-10T04:05:00.000-04:00

so i fell asleep after coming home from dinner tonight; more like, completely passed out.
and i woke up to find the fan on, and that my mommy had peeled my (nonstinky) socks off of my feet and swung me around so that my lower legs were no longer hanging off the side of my bed (which was, apparently, the position i fell asleep in. & the binder that was digging into my thigh, but was too tired to do anything about, had magically disappeared.

mommy's are awesome.
luckily (for us) we never fully "grow up" in their eyes!

(:

today onwards

2007-07-08T06:19:00.000-04:00

thinking about the future is one big doozy. i don't even know if that's a word (someone urbandictionary it) but i feel it captures all the thoughts and feelings and emotions perfectly. as in... 'i don't even know...'

i love course planning and making people's schedules beautiful on excel. it sounds extremely geeky and maybe i do live up to the name of ___ whatever it is that i got made fun of, especially last year with loving bio and all. but throughout it all i found my grip on my life getting tighter and tighter.

some people don't know what they want to do with their lives when they're 40; others have been pursuing a certain career since they were 10. for myself personally, i guess i have some kind of an idea. but lately it's becoming more of a laser point of light in a dark room. you can keep staring at it and looking for it; it'll show up, it's there... but you don't know if it's moved or not because everything else is pitch black and your eyesight is strained.

i had it all planned out.
graduate with my excess of credits in 09, grad school for 2 years, and then onwards and upwards for the rest of my life.

i had consulted parents, upper-years, grads... about how to pursue things.
which were the easy bird courses?
what have you heard about this prof?
HEY are you taking ___ with me?
grad schools in nova scotia only offer 13 out of 45 spots to out-of-maritime-residence students?!

but i had neglected to consult the one most important in my life.

anyway, just a good reminder.

you know the light is there, and you know that it's good; a point of reference, even when all else is dark. keep following it and one day it'll get brighter and bigger. one day you'll see the open road in front of you.

---
ps. today is 07/07/07! how exciting. we won't get to enjoy another one, so make the most of it (:

oh DANG it's way past midnight.
well. i hope your day was a good one then (:

2007-07-06T04:47:00.000-04:00

do you not know?
have you not heard?
the everlasting God, the Lord,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
does not become weary or tired, His understanding is inscrutable
.
He gives strength to the weary
and to him who lacks might He increases power
.
though youths grow weary and tired,
and vigorous young men stumble badly
.
yet those who wait on the Lord will gain new strength
they will mount up on wings like eagles
they will run and not get tired
they will walk and not become weary.
-isaiah 40 28-31

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-01T03:49:00.001-04:00

kingston's small and simple
i like that

on commuting

2007-06-29T14:34:00.001-04:00

My mom makes fun of me every morning at 7:00am because I rush around the house finding all of the necessary equipment for my (in her words) “daily field trip” to UBC. I guess it be a pretty funny scene, seeing me stuff into my bag an umbrella, snacks, packed lunch, water bottle, books, music supply, extra sweater (actually only ½ that I brought home for the summer – I forgot how cold and rainy home gets!!!), extra socks & a tent (just kidding)…

You get the idea.
I may be a bit of a princess in that I make such a big fuss out of my daily commute to UBC, but seriously, the 1:05 bus ride each way (3 bus rides on the way home!) is the time it takes for me to walk to all my classes for the term at Queen’s.

I love Queen’s.

Initially I had great plans to use my commuting time wisely – I was going to read the book I’ve been working on so far this summer, I was going to read Scripture. I thought for a minute that my inability to read on moving things would have dissipated.

My plans were spoiled on my way to my first class Monday morning by a sudden urge to throw up all over the poor old man next to me upon opening up my Bible and reading one verse. Yes, one verse. And for the next 55 minutes the only thing I could do to hold it in was sit tightly with my hands folded in my lap and my eyes closed.

I’m weaksauce.
Having said that, my 2 hours on public transit have resulted into a lot of thinking time for me, seeing that that is all I am capable of doing.

Yesterday,
I was thinking how much I missed the lake. I missed the fact that I could walk 7 minutes at anytime of the day and spend subsequent hour(s) listening to the sound of crashing waves under the warming sun or the shining stars. I was reminded of the mornings where I would venture out and just sit on the docks before the working men would drive their boats around – where even the insects on the planks would keep their distance. And it would just be me and him.

It dawned on me how much I had holed myself up these past couple of months. Hiding and avoiding a lot of things. Not surprisingly, somewhere along the way I got blinded to the fact that beauty was all around. I had depended on things, such as the lake… or those intimate moments where I recognized the significance of everything around me. But to everything else, I had failed to acknowledge the splendour in all things that my Creator had lovingly designed.

To light and darkness, to water and land, to the vegetation, to the seasons, to winged birds, livestock, creatures that move along the ground and wild animals, to man.
‘God saw all that he had made, and it was very good’

I miss the times where I too, saw all of His goodness in all things.

I will forever hate moths and butterflies, but I’d like to see that they too, are good.
Man, God is huge.

…
Job 38-40.
…

On an ending note: it is now 11:31am and I am sitting at a UBC library computer.
My 3- hour class got cut down to 45 minutes today, which left me not knowing what to do with myself seeing as how I had a lab in 3 hours and 15 minutes.

I guess I could have gone home,
But that would have been
A 2 hour bus ride
For 45 minutes at home.

1.5 hours to go. Maybe I’ll go walk around the entire campus. …. Actually with the amount of time I have I may only get halfway around (:
Brrrrrp.

odds and ends

2007-06-22T03:24:00.000-04:00

this spring term has been such a plethora of .. plethoras, if you will.
time, is an amazing thing.
it's weird how some things never change; it's weird how some things come and go in the blink of an eye

thoughts.
there should be an on/off switch. or at least some kind of dial where you can tone it down.
too many times lately i find myself so suddenly overwhelmed by things running through my head.
like now actually.

things that i'd like to mull over more, things that i'd like to seek out and search out
why must you come and go so quickly.

they should at least slow down enough so i can get them down .. on this blog, if not anywhere else.
but perhaps you can see by the non-coherent-ness of my posts that really... i have not a clue what i'm thinking about, just, i'm thinking a lot

about
family
summer
relationships (past present future. of the worldly kind. of the godly kind)
school
future

seems like a generic list; but really, these are not light topics, not light like cream cheese. but heavy.
topics that keep you up at night
things that make your mind hurt. and your heart ache.

there should be days where all whom you love can be together. and just chill.
we could just sit in our living room or something.. it's pretty big and comfy
we could play some music
some games
eat some food
and there would be no more crazy thoughts
no more living two lives
in two different worlds

maybe that's just heaven waiting to be happenin
.. God i ask for your mercy upon them- would you not delay any longer... time is..... Lord God i place my trust and hope, in you..

---
i am so blessed. help me not to lose sight of that. of you.

..
& to you whose socks are outside my door
for showing me what a true godly friendship is like, i thank you
..
home in 2 days. i suppose i should be more excited but really i don't know what to expect.
it's dangerous when you get comfortable in the uncomfortable.

..
i'm lacking in self control.

mmm

end here(?)
again. i wish . i could be more eloquent with my words
or simply - that i'd be able to capture these thoughts in their true essence.

on being filled

2007-06-21T20:33:00.000-04:00

some say love is an action, some say love is a choice.
but when it all boils down to it, just like a well - you're running on empty if you're not first filled from a source.

in my study bible concordance there are
3.5 pages full of referenecs to the word "Lord",3 for "God",
2 for "faith", 0.5 for "grace", 0.25 for "hope"
... 3 pages for "love"

i guess it may be kind of silly for me to even note that but i think it in some senses really does emphasize the magnitude of the term.
the concept of it, the words that define it, the actions that show it, the consequences of it, our Lord God who is.. Love.

...and now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. but the greatest of these is love. 1 cor 13:13 - it only makes sense...

for too long now i've been trying to do it myself. too long now have i been blinded by my own pride, locked in behind the walls built up by my ever-hardening heart. i guess learning it once wasn't enough for me, but i now realize how i've been blatently telling God to His face that I was better than Him.

i wish i could be more eloquent with my words, but the gist of it is...

i don't want to make or feel like loving others is an obligation. i don't want to message people, email people, meet up with people, encounter random people on the streets and care simply because it's what im used to doing or because it's what i do.. or should do, or am expected or encouraged to do. but God may your Spirit fill and overflow. Anything short of that is unfair, to You and to those i come into contact with.

Father I want to experience the times again where i knowingly allowed you to work so clearly in my life; where you were the forefront of my conscience, where you were the one i went to first, where all i wanted do was let you in and be an overflow of the abounding love and grace that you have for me as your child.

because from there... all i can do, all i want to do, is share that love with others.

i can't run on empty anymore.

i don't want to break your heart anymore.

.. still working on this concept of grace.

.

2007-06-20T04:56:00.000-04:00

insomnia + stomach pains.. making it hard for me to lie down. or sit. exam in 4 hours.

i just can't understand.
but i'm not going to ask why..

lord jesus you are my rock, my strength. ... i place my trust in you

ps 62

1 cor 13

2007-06-11T00:49:00.000-04:00

i need you God
i need your help
i clearly cannot do this by myself; but thats the way it's supposed to be...

> thank you

summer days

2007-06-04T11:59:00.000-04:00

equates to open doors and windows
which manifests into

hordes of spiders and MOTHS

you know
the ones that fly so nicely and gracefully and then BAM THEY ARE IN YOUR FACE TRYING TO TAKE YOUR EYEBALL OUT

gosh. all dignity and pride flew out the window last night as i pulled a < insert housemate's name here>in front of everyone at first sight of the creepily graceful moth. & then was caught on the lookout -staring up at the ceiling every 15 seconds.

sik.

butterflies. moths. hi you can stop giving me heart attacks now thanks.

but i guess it could be worse - like that giant centipede that ate a bat. youtube it.

2007-06-01T00:22:00.000-04:00

the people around me are underrated.

i need to learn how to love with His love

because my own is not enough.

but first, the self.

viv is

2007-05-28T18:05:00.001-04:00

attention deficient defined.

and laughing at the fact that really, at the end of the day, the bottom line for social psychology is...

.
.
.
.
.
.
people are ..well.. not very bright.
more on this as i study. "study" again, refer to first line of the post.

i hope my mom doesn't read this. hah. (:

2007-05-25T09:21:00.000-04:00

he's waiting for you

attn: random

2007-05-23T22:21:00.000-04:00

so,
my best friend decided that she loves me enough to take the time and money to come to little ol' kingston for 10 days and visit me.
i must be pretty awesome or she must be pretty awesome.

SHE IS PRETTY AWESOME.

i'm excited.

this sounds like the kinds of posts i blogged about when i was 16. i was on my old blog the other day and discovered all the private entries that date back to 2003 =I

i'm really enjoying this summer (spring) in Kingston business; today i found a new place to chill, made a steaked on sesame, and had an awesome conversation with the man behind the register at shopper's drug mart.

there have definitely been many discoveries thus far this spring - friendships, chillaxing places, foods, etc. etc.

now i want to do some rediscovering - of the things that once caught my eyes and my heart and all that i am.

more significant posts to come when more significant thoughts stream through this lil head of mine.

refresher

2007-05-13T17:59:00.000-04:00

today after service pastor lo and auntie sally held a barbeque for those still in town for the spring&summer. on top of fab food and fellowshipping i also had the chance to make mud pies, be a first mate on a pirate ship, fight off circling sharks, and go on cruises around the backyard to humpback island to see humpback whales. several sea monsters and humpback whales were enlisted by my young captain sidekick (their identities shall remain anonymous).

but i guess

it was just so refreshing, to be around children again. to escape into their fantasy worlds and to see things as they see things. that sticks could be forks again, that tree roots could be safety islands, that a plastic figurine of donkey from shrek could be our navigator - that you could be anyone you wished to be, that you could do anything you've ever wanted or wished or hoped for. & holding a toddler in my arms, lifting her high to touch the pine cones from the trees... not a single word was spoken yet tons was said through her eyes and facial expression.

it's these things that i'd like to be hanging onto.

2007-05-12T11:01:00.000-04:00

tryin to try to keep it real up in the ktown

Many Disciples Desert Jesus

On hearing it, many of his disciples said, "This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?"

Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, "Does this offend you? What if you see the Son of Man ascend to where he was before! The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. Yet there are some of you who do not believe." For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray him. He went on to say, "This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled him."
From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.

"You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the Twelve.

---------------------------------------------------------
Simon Peter answered him,

"Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."

believe and know

c'est ca(?).

a link a link

2007-05-08T12:36:00.000-04:00

my awesome housemate put very eloquently, just how nightmare-ish our move in day was; although this was probably 1/6th of the junk, and the pictures just don't do the hanging cobwebs and junk on the walls and holes in doors and whatnot any justice. you didnt see the underneath the burner liners or the oven grease, i think enough was caked onto our stove to power a car.

albeit the house is much much better now- our landlord is a hard hard hardworking man - i thought i'd share until i have some decent thoughts to put up on this thing

enjoy, and enjoy the sun friends!

moving

2007-05-03T10:58:00.000-04:00

makes your arms BUFF-O!!

who would've thought lifting six girl's belongings between three people over a period of two days would be so exhausting - seriously, we should all live out of duffel bags. correction. make that a duffel bag.

hahah. just kidding. tis been tiring but great fun :) only downer thus far is the fact that six boys lived in the house before us and they left us a great deal of treasures upon moving out, including but not exclusive to: boxers/shirts/socks in all closets, three full fridges worth of food, cutlery and junk in all cabinets, cobwebs on the ceiling, and this is my favourite: half a garbage bag worth of beer bottle CAPS. by which we cleared by shovelling with a dust pan.

clearly my mind is gone. but things are coming along fine - chilling with people before they leave for the summer and being forced by someone to watch sappy girly movies because we are girls.

HAH. i luuuuuuuuurve. ;) man... i really do lurve this feeling.

anywhoo. my time here at the stauffer computer must come to an end. i'd reply to all the comments left in my previous post(s) but y'all know i love you regardles and i know y'all will still
love me regardless so i'm just going to leave it. holla if you come in town!! if not - hope your hood's treatin you well ~

ps. apparently my room looks like a dungeon/jail because of some uber dark blue bad paint job. so i'm recruiting painters... namely people who call me the love of their life and people who are reminded of cheesy valentines cards. in return i will make you hot pot and let you use my internet (once we get it) thanks thats all!

total hourage (at the librarodometer): too many

2007-04-27T02:06:00.000-04:00

i say this a lot. i know i do.
but i think its time i started listening to myself.

"keep on truckin!"

right...

2007-04-22T14:20:00.000-04:00

the lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
he will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins desrre or repay us according to our iniquities. ps103

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you."
- James

cut the critical eye, man
&exhale.

sry for the vagueness - simply a self reminder.

introducing the family... in 2005

2007-04-14T21:23:00.000-04:00

hahhaha ok dad....

(take 4) much better (: and stop blaming the photographer!

i miss&love u

AHH I LOVE.

2007-04-13T01:08:00.000-04:00

guaranteed smiles

don't forget the volume

friend; [frend] - noun

2007-04-09T03:25:00.001-04:00

1.	a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2.	a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.

3.	a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

4.	a member of the same nation, party, etc.

-dictionary.com

"she's my best friend because she gives me candy when i don't have any. oh and we play 4-square together at recess"

back in the day, being someone's friend was so easy. relationships were simple. i don't know how or why, or where in these last two years that i lost sight of that. maybe this is merely the result of a very strained and tired mind at 3am, but bear with me.

it's weird how it's never really struck me until now.
maybe it is the result of perhaps investing too much into the bubble, and not much into the whole rest of the world, but i think i've forgotten how to be a friend; at the very least, i don't think i understand what the word 'friend' really entails anymore.

friendships now are different. maybe it's because indeed, we have matured and the things that used to satisfy us don't have the same effect, but why are things so serious all the time now? is it really a direct result of being in the bubble?

i can give candy (well, now that we're more 'mature', tis more like making someone dinner),i can play games, i can be that listening ear at 3am, i can joke,i can laugh... but it doesn't feel the same. it's almost as if you're my friend for the sole reason that i care about you, i love you, i'm called to love you, i've been blessed with the opportunity to get to know you.

but i feel like i don't know anything about you.
what's your favourite colour?
favourite band?
what are your parents like?
what are your phobias?

the saying goes 'you have to be able to play with someone before you can pray with them'
but why have we stopped 'playing'? - not in the literal sense, but why have we stopped enjoying learning each other's quirks and mannerisms. why don't we do stupid things like taking as many busses as we can in a day and end up in the middle of nowhere. why don't we just sit and eat crackers and cheese for the sake of just eating crackers and cheese, and not as a filler for our uber serious conversation about Serious topics.

why can't we talk on the phone for 6 hours straight anymore
why can't we have each other spend the night and just watch movies and stuff our faces
why does it seem as though every action has a waaaaaaaay deeper underlying message or intent

why can't we just loosen up. why can't we just hang out.

we've (i've) forgotten how to play.
can't i love you, care for you, and have the simple friendship of the way-back-when...?

im so incredibly thankful for these relationships. i really truly am. and maybe i'm being really stupid in saying this, but it'd be nice to have someone ask my favourite colour again, as opposed to always 'what can i do for you. how can i pray for you, how are you REALLY.'

+i am guilty of this myself. hence the 'i dont know what friendship entails/how to be a friend'
ick. what a truckload of thoughts.

*the terms 'we' and 'you' are not termed towards any individual(s) in particular.

heh. i think this may go against everything i just said (i'm confused. yes). but ..
how can i be a better friend for you.

the Exalted Servant, the Suffering Servant

2007-04-07T02:23:00.001-04:00

the manner in which God laid our iniquity on Him was that God treated Him as if He had committed every sin ever committed by every person who would ever believe, though He was perfectly innocent.

that He would arise in lowly conditions with no stately form or majesty, His true identity only visible to the discerning eye of faith.
that He must undergo inhuman cruelty to the point that He no longer looks like a human being
that He knew exactly what needed to be done to solve the sin problem
that He alone was willing to substitude His life for ours

cat

2007-04-04T10:34:00.000-04:00

i did not know that feline creatures were able to make noises similar to a child crying or screaming as if their life were in danger.

it's not a pleasant sound
especially if you're the first one awake and the cat knows it
especially if you were planning on going back to bed.

be like lion and RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

hahaha.
i think i've gone crazy.

its not like metamorphosis...

2007-03-30T05:00:00.000-04:00

someone asked me over lunch today (actually, yesterday now.. at time of posting) out of the blue, whether or not there was a difference in the way i live my life since i've come to know Christ.

without thinking my immediate response was "yes, of course" and i proceeded to give him several examples of the things that have 'changed'... of how i live differently now, of how i see people differently now, of how i treat people differently now, etc etc etc.

but upon further thinking i guess i've come to question myself. these changes, growths that i now claim are true and apparent in my life... are they apparent to others? the ones that don't yet know Christ?

how am i really living.

For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
- 2 corinthians 5:14-21

it's not like metamorphosis where there's a gradual change from larval stage to adult maturity, but rather, one is immediately made new in Christ. this is grace- that we're able to shed our old skin and become one that is brand new, with life and hope and true unsurpassing love. however, the metamorphosis... the learning curve, the growth pains, that comes now. so make it count viv, make it count.

you are the light of the world. a city on a hill cannot be hidden (!)
-matthew 5:14

such Words.

lift

2007-03-26T10:37:00.000-04:00

(xcept ky and cn!)

hrrrrrm?!

2007-03-22T11:30:00.000-04:00

how ironic,

that last night as i was flossing before bed, a little piece of floss broke off and got stuck between my teeth.

i had to floss to get the floss out.

hrrrm?!!

'it encourages you to really floss, to really dig down there' says my friend. he is wise.

.

2007-03-20T02:03:00.000-04:00

how vulnerable is too vulnerable?

does that even exist? rawr.

i think i'm prone to verbal diarrhea.

peace sign

2007-03-18T12:46:00.000-04:00

"___ says: youre not a super fob
___ says: but i think it just slips out once in a while
___ says: anddddd i must say you are the fobbiest person i know in kingston"

thanks housemate. much love.

.. just call me feef.

your attention please

2007-03-18T01:46:00.000-04:00

"the library will close in 30 minutes. thank you."

ah nothing like the sound of the library security man's voice reminding you that in half an hour you will no longer be allowed to do work in the lurrrrvely environment that is stauffer. instead, your computer will be shut down, any unsaved work lost, and you will be expected to shuffle out those side doors and trudge home in -14 (spring?!) weather.

lately i've been ragged upon a lot, mostly for my not so discrete love for biology and the material that we're learning (really, sex IS good for you... so we are told). it's at times like these where you're nearing 2am and your lab is semi-hastily-put together and your midterm material for the next day has not been touched since the last exam ... that i need to be reminded of why i love what i'm doing. and why i'm doing what i'm doing.

yeah.. when you feel like you're going to die from having to do all this junk. that really, in 15 years it's not going to matter whether or not sharks have jaws that are attached to the craniums or not, or whether your psyc study only involved undergraduate students from queen's university and in no way is that a big enough sample base to generalize your findings to the general population. in 15 years these late nights "dying" at stauffer with your brothers and sisters will be nothing but fond memories as you see in retrospect how much they've helped shape the person you will have become. that despite how small and trivial our day to day actions seem and you'd rather be in Africa ministering or in China spreading the love of Christ, that your perseverance and patience and faith NOW are things that honour our Lord, and in return you will be blessed abundantly.

it's been a very long three days. full of worldy silly things that take up time and energy and resources away from the things that should matter.
well actually in that sense, it's been a very long 6 months...

but He pulled out the big guns on me yesterday. the Lord of the universe has pulled out the big guns. and to moment, even though it is fleeting.. right now.. it's a totally different world.

...

"your attention please, the library will close in 15 minutes. all must exit the building by 2 o'clock"

this is my sign to pack up as the computers will be shutting off soon.

tonight ... i'm coming home running.

...

won't you, will you.

2007-03-15T03:11:00.000-04:00

don't you know that this isn't normal?
don't you know that you shouldn't be hanging onto this?
don't you know that as a selfish human you're supposed to be looking out for you best interests?

don't you know that after so long you're tired?
don't you know that after so long most people would have put the solution into work?
don't you know that this isn't what you truly want inside?
don't you know that after so long there is still a way out?

don't you know that you're important?
don't you know that people look up to you?
don't you know that lives are at stake?

don't you know that despite the 1000 times you've failed,
don't you know that he's still there?
don't you know that he's hurting?

do you?

won't you just sit back?
won't you take control over your emotions, and not the other way around?
won't you just CHILL, DAWG?
won't you just stand up against s for a sec?
won't you turn to g for just a little while?
won't you just let go?
for a moment. see how it feels.
won't you recognize the power you've been given
the strength you've been provided,
the healing you've been longing
the love you've been offered?
won't you give it a shot?
won't you try again?

will you?

please. right now. i beg you.
you're not one to give up. since when did you get like this.

this isn't like you. shake it off. shake it off.

o dear

2007-03-12T10:53:00.000-04:00

so this isn't as easy as i thought it would be. as it seemed.
i thought i had surpassed this mountain.
you're not supposed to mean this much to me.
why must you/i be like this

reminder

2007-03-10T02:18:00.000-05:00

jesus i believe in you

i do.

catch-22

2007-03-07T22:28:00.000-05:00

"There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle."

"That's some catch, that catch-22," he observed.

"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.

----
hahahahaha. i heart.

a novelty

2007-03-07T10:16:00.000-05:00

when the Word pierces and causes tears to fall
i guess it is a good thing.
feelings, it's been awhile - would you stay a little longer.

happy hump day.
what have you done so far this week
what have i done so far this week

between my parents and i, we must have called each other 12 times yesterday. (Y)

midnight awakening

2007-03-06T00:12:00.000-05:00

sitting restlessly in front of the books, laptop fan spins and music fills the background. Change of environment needed//

pull on your long underwear, layered with fleece, grab a toque and running shoes and out you go. Feet hit the cement and your lungs are screaming at you by the time you hit the end of the street, but you press on westward, under the fluorescent glow of the streetlights. Houses pass one by one and the occasional car zooms by, leaving you in the dust. Your body adjusts to the negative thirty degree weather and breathing hurts a little less .run run run. The town is quiet – that you can hear the buzzing of the energy generating from the streetlights; a dog barks in the distance. Toy shovels and sleds litter one house’s yard, a little boy or girl’s snow castle glistens. Beer bottles lay encrusted with ice in another, the obvious remnants of the weekend’s partying. The tall bleak walls of the penitentiary tower over you, and the stop light in the distance flashes vividly against the dark of the night.

you run against the wind, turn two corners and it’s just you and the lake. The world is at a standstill with the only noise being the crunch of the ice beneath your feet. The moonlight dances over the frozen lake water, illuminating the snow covered rocks and the footsteps of those who have dared to venture out into the open.

the past day’s crap gets left behind with every step you take, peace fills the longing heart, feelings of worthlessness are replaced with awe and wonder as you look up into the stars. Suddenly you are left breathless, and not because of the energy you just exerted.

he dances over and sings all around. ‘i made it all’

monday randoms

2007-03-05T18:36:00.000-05:00

its like,
refusing and suppressing joy, in fear of setting yourself up for the inevitable bigger, more painful letdowns in the future.

when you don't have expectations it's impossible to fail them.

&
the higher you climb the harder you fall.
silly gravity.

paradoxical

2007-03-03T20:56:00.000-05:00

at the same time,
i can see how someone can slowly be brought down by the words and actions of those around around, unintentionally and unknowingly to all parties involved. It is said that one man sharpens another as iron sharpens iron, but there is a fine print to a certain extent, no?

we share our struggles, our burdens, our trials and temptations - but how does one carry his brother's burdens when he himself is weighted down? how much can the weak carry the weak? i think many times S uses opportunities like these to drag people down even more. we think that we are supporting one another but in actuality, we're both sinking at the same rate. i guess it's synonymous with adding fire to an already devastating flame.

how do these relationships honour G? how can they?.. can they?

such a fickle topic. =(
just gotta be careful, thats all.

but if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin 1john7

stained-glass masquerade

2007-03-01T14:35:00.000-05:00

Given the status that most of us are in right now – students in a relatively wealthy country, I guess we’ve been pretty lucky in the fact that whenever we need help in any way, shape, or form, it’s easily accessible. Health care and dental care, writing centres to edit your essays, housemates to give you a crash course in orgo the night before the big exam, heck even career services to plan your life out for you. There are professors and TAs and coaches, dons, admins, and psychologists.

And then of course: G, parents, siblings, BICs and SICs. I guess the point trying to be made here is that help is all around, and people willing to help and care and love are all around, the onus is on you to make the first effort and stick out your arm. No matter what time it is and no matter where you are there is always at least one willing to help. Always one willing to love. To care. To pull you close. To meet you where you are – in fact even if you don’t reach out there will always be one constantly pursuing you, chasing after you and making you know that you are wanted. Yes, even when you don’t want to be wanted.

Masks are dangerous things yet something everyone possesses. It’s just a matter of how often you put it on when you greet the world.

We look around us and see ads all around educating about depression, alcoholism, anorexia, and bulimia. Help for the problems of the heart, and the problems of the mind, for those who seek it. But what about those who don’t?

What about those who have put on their mask so often that it’s impossible to take off because it’s now become a part of who they are? That popular girl over there, “studying” with her table of friends, laughing the world away - is that a facade? What about the all-star athlete, MVP of the month – what is he really like, who is he really? The perpetually happy neighbour, the easily amused friend, the classmate who laughs at all your corny jokes because they’re overflowing with joy.

It’s scary how often we aren’t able to recognize the fakeness of it all.
Or rather, it’s scary how real and becoming these masks are on the faces of those all around.

so where is your arm

m&m

2007-03-01T13:17:00.001-05:00

so she's back
back again
vivo's back
tell a friend.

goodbye blogger

2007-01-11T08:30:00.000-05:00

i'll see you in a bit.

Psalm 50

2007-01-01T09:31:00.000-05:00

9 I have no need of a bull from your stall
or of goats from your pens,

10 for every animal of the forest is mine,
and the cattle on a thousand hills.

11 I know every bird in the mountains,
and the creatures of the field are mine.

12 If I were hungry I would not tell you,
for the world is mine, and all that is in it.

13 Do I eat the flesh of bulls
or drink the blood of goats?

14 Sacrifice thank offerings to God,
fulfill your vows to the Most High,

15 and call upon me in the day of trouble;
I will deliver you, and you will honor me."

It is so incredibly humbling to recognize that God doesn't need any of this from us. The fact that we fail every day as humans, with our minute wisdom and understanding of the world, doesn't make HIM any less powerful, or less majestic, or less loving. It's mind boggling, really... to know that the Lord of the universe doesn't delight in anything more than when I let Him into my heart and spend time with Him.

Today at chapel we all received little cards with our bulletin and were encouraged to partake in a thanksgiving offering for all He had blessed us with in 2006. It was such a simple gesture yet it spoke volumes. Through all of the junk and disfunctional relationships and hardships and battles and frustrations and tears I would not have traded this past year for anything in the world. Mexico allowed me to see with brand new eyes. Those 10 days in 2006 were worth one thousand-fold all of the crappy ones. Each day was a new opportunity to allow God to shape me and mold me into a different person, and I just hope that I'll be able to take what I learned this year to learn to love Him more, and to love others better, all the while honouring our King. When we learn to acknowledge the grandness of God's grace, our love for Him will be magnified.

If I go up to the heavens, He is there;
if I make my bed in the depths, He is there.

If i rise on the wings of the dawn,
if i settle on the far side of the sea,
even there His hand will guide me,
His right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to Him;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is at light to Him.

mmm...the beauty of it all.

boo internet won't let me upload a picture of our thanksgiving tree. check back later.

2006-12-15T06:15:00.000-05:00

i like sun-rises and all.
but not being able to sleep is not cool.
seriously, 8 days of staying up until the sun rises is not cool.

2006-12-09T19:31:00.000-05:00

honestly,

i don't know how you guys do it.
if i were you i think i would have given up a long time ago.
or definitely would have wanted to give up a long time ago.
but you are not me
and for that
i am truly thankful.
love you(s)

now to sit still and uncover the bandaids.
to get to the root of it all and stop thriving on imitation water.
to feel again - not by these RIDICULOUS outlets. but you and you alone.
to worship again. to pray again.

song

He lifts His voice, the earth melts

God..

stop asking

2006-11-29T21:16:00.000-05:00

Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here a while

And didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember
Where you sat it down

Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
(and thats my everything)

Bridge:
I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that
That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that
That was You washing my feet

all i can say. >dcrowder

how would you like your brain/life : scrambled or fried?

2006-11-25T18:20:00.000-05:00

Across
34 Fiddlehead, e.g.

a FERN a FERN!
i guess it really is a sign to get back to work when the subject of your studies appears in your crossword.

----------------------

it'd be awfully nice if we as humans could be like plants, and have carpels and integuments to protect and nurture us as we matured. really, those 9 months in the womb just don't prepare you enough for the next __ years.

----------------------

4 was the magic number last night. my heart broke a little.

---------------------

by the way,
remember the 10 second clean up?

and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. rom 5:3-5

zzz

2006-11-11T10:33:00.000-05:00

You lucky beast.

If i can't get 6 months like my big furry friend I guess I'll just have to settle for my 6 hours of hibernation / night.

viv needs viv time.

I'll be back. wait for it.
thanks for being patient.
thanks for not giving up on me.

10 second clean up.

2006-10-24T03:06:00.000-04:00

I thought that Molly from the Big Comfy Couch was the coolest person ever - No one else I knew could clean up a room as messy as hers in ten seconds. She would dash around picking things up, putting things away, organize it all, and still have time right at the very end to flop down on her big comfy couch with a huge grin on her face.

Maybe this is what university does to you, but recently I've been making analagous references between my life and Molly's (to myself, of course). It's been all about running around, taking care of unfinished business, organizing, prioritizing, and especially cleaning up the mess that comes with spiritual brokenness - with bulldozing of the walls, and torn hearts. With that said, however, I've been greatful for the fact that I'm still able to "flop on the couch" at the end of the day with a joyful attitude.

It's an odd feeling, really.

Part of me is waiting for the big explosion - the spewage of items that comes when you open the closet door for the first time after you had half-heartedly shoved everything into it in an attempt to clean up. Afterall, 10 seconds used for cleaning up is 10 seconds lost for something else.

Part of me is simply waiting. and i'm quite content at that.
Maybe this is what it feels like to completely surrender.

God pays no respect to anything we bring to Him. There is only one thing God wants of us, and that is our unconditional surrender.

Fungi, Algae, Gene Mapping, Seroude, sin/cos/tan, PSS/ANN, turing machines - you ain't got nothing on G. you ain't got nothing on me.

I wish I had more than 10 seconds though - is 30 asking too much? I'd like a bit more time to be able to process all that's been happening in my life. I'd like to not have things come and go so quickly that I'm not able to full grasp the meaning of it all. I'd like to have even more time to be still and know that You are God.

family, cell group, housemates, brothers and sisters: though most of you won't read this. thanks for not giving up on me. despite my failures and weaknesses, I see more and more of what grace really is each day and all I can do is thank God in sheer humility.

a bit of what's been heavy on my heart:
"Do you love me? ...

... Feed my sheep"

O. Chambers says: The true test of one's love for Jesus is a very practical one, and all the rest is sentimental talk.
It's time to bring out the funk.

even at 3am. i can tell. it's going to be 'A BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY' (thats for you, 'Bono')

i'm thankful for:

2006-10-09T00:19:00.000-04:00

*family, being able to go to Queen's, warm blankets at night, clean water to drink, phones, cameras, computers, internet connection, cars, rollerblades, housemates, friday nights in kingston, saturday nights in vancouver, brutally honest talks in the parking lot of the 7-11 at home, my roommate, having family in toronto, Grouse, blue pens, journals, frosh, mountains, lakes, snow, sun, rain, Chown, kiwi, chester, prayer, sunscreen, tea, futons, laundry machines, accountability, music, pad love, LIFT, my co., saturday morning sharings, vacuums that suck up bugs, friends willing to hose and have you hose them down, thursday mornings this past summer, ringette, long talks about anything and everything, having friends over for dinner, going to friends places for dinner, the lake, education, walks home at night, walks to school in the morning, walks to and from school in the afternoon, people who care, bubble tea nights, clean showers, people who ask to pray for you, security, sushi, mexico, fifteen-seater vans, honesty, trust, the Bible, random phone calls just to say hi, churches, diana sauce, snail-mail, newspapers, lunch dates, corporate worship, friends who care, knowing the One i'm thanking for each day of my life.

congratulations!! it's a ..... fridge!

2006-09-30T20:57:00.000-04:00

allow me to introduce the newest member of our little family here in kingston.

isn't he beautiful?

with twice the carrying capacity of our old fridge, this one does nothing but force me to think about the vast variety of groceries that i will be able to buy and have fit in the fridge.

sorry, friend. sometimes, size (and the fact that it doesn't leak) does matter.

prepping for work in the Field.

2006-09-22T18:37:00.000-04:00

woke up with butterflies in my stomach.
i miss my family dearly.

but i thank you.
cause' i love how it wasn't awkward last night.
and the honesty.
and the 'wow we're totally on the same page'

lets hope it corresponds to your big book of plans.

not my cell. but yours.
not his cell. but yours.

here goes...
teach me how to love.
first you. then others.

2006-09-02T18:50:00.000-04:00

with age comes wisdom.

i've been nineteen for a day now.
feeling the age - darn headaches that come out of nowhere

definitely still waiting on the wisdom

(:

God is too good. i don't even have any idea.

dot dot dot

2006-08-31T01:44:00.000-04:00

trip recap:

well, what can i say? it was full of lobsters, and lobsters.

and i did go to green gables [though not on the tour because no one in my family had read Montgomery's books... har har. i did buy a copy of anne of green gables, however, so when i go back in 30 years i'll be able to appreciate it]. however, i did miss a couple of things on the list: water, lighthouses, water, water, and water.

it should have been pretty cool,with the Atlantic and all, since i'm a west coast gal... but really, it wasn't. EXCEPT for the fact that more than 1/3 of the maritime population wears crocs! i swear if the place wasn't so full of water and lobsters i'd move there in a second. can you say identity crisis?

One thing though... Peggy's cove really was quite the beautiful - the highlight of the trip, in my opinion. google it or ask me for pics, maybe i'll put some up =)

sorry the update is so choppy, i really have nothing else to say about the trip =/

-------------

moving up to kingston in two days. SO ALL YOU PEOPLE IN THE GTA WHO ARE READING THIS ---> please come up sooner. really, we can read anne of green gables together.

-------------

ps. you know when you read back on your grade 8 diaries and you're just like 'wow, i'm retarded?' well, maybe not, but you just kind of laugh at yourself when you realize that the things that were oh-so-important back then... aren't now.

i was reading my past posts on blogger.. and my, how things can change in 5 months.. or even 5 days, for that matter.

you learn something new everyday, and after awhile you just hope that it amounts to something significant :S growing pains.

east coast fun

2006-08-23T03:58:00.000-04:00

hmmmmmmmm.

a whole week of province-hopping in the maritimes with my family. lobsters, anne of green gables, and lobsters galore!

=)

take it easy friends.