thinking about the future is one big doozy. i don't even know if that's a word (someone urbandictionary it) but i feel it captures all the thoughts and feelings and emotions perfectly. as in... 'i don't even know...'
i love course planning and making people's schedules beautiful on excel. it sounds extremely geeky and maybe i do live up to the name of ___ whatever it is that i got made fun of, especially last year with loving bio and all. but throughout it all i found my grip on my life getting tighter and tighter.
some people don't know what they want to do with their lives when they're 40; others have been pursuing a certain career since they were 10. for myself personally, i guess i have some kind of an idea. but lately it's becoming more of a laser point of light in a dark room. you can keep staring at it and looking for it; it'll show up, it's there... but you don't know if it's moved or not because everything else is pitch black and your eyesight is strained.
i had it all planned out.
graduate with my excess of credits in 09, grad school for 2 years, and then onwards and upwards for the rest of my life.
i had consulted parents, upper-years, grads... about how to pursue things.
which were the easy bird courses?
what have you heard about this prof?
HEY are you taking ___ with me?
grad schools in nova scotia only offer 13 out of 45 spots to out-of-maritime-residence students?!
but i had neglected to consult the one most important in my life.
anyway, just a good reminder.
you know the light is there, and you know that it's good; a point of reference, even when all else is dark. keep following it and one day it'll get brighter and bigger. one day you'll see the open road in front of you.
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ps. today is 07/07/07! how exciting. we won't get to enjoy another one, so make the most of it (:
oh DANG it's way past midnight.
well. i hope your day was a good one then (:
1 comment:
AHAHA clever clever? 070707? lol
and your little red dot in dark room story too?
yeah. when i was a kid, i thought sweeping floors were fun, so i told everyone i wanted to be a street sweeper and i think that embarassed my parents a bit. lol. looking back i'm guessing all the parents would kinda nod and raise their eyebrows like "oh...uhm ...really?"
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