i dont know if you've noticed, or if you share my sentiments. but i miss you.
the bond that we had,
the friendship that we had,
the closeness and the desire to be that way,
the talks,
the messages,
the trips,
the sharing life
& the sharing of life.

to be honest with you i feel like i've been repeatedly running into a transparent wall these past few months
it hurts me, but that would just be selfish
but it really hurts me, to see you like this.

i can only help and offer what limited advice and wisdom i have if you want it.
i want to be there for you
to cry with you
to laugh with you
to poke fun at you
and have you intimidate me because you're taller

i realize i havent been the best of friends
i haven't been around
but i hope you know that despite all of that, of all the people in the world, you come first

i feel like this is the only way i can get my thoughts out because frankly, trying to start a conversation and maintaining it has been.. tough. to be perfectly honest i feel like i'm talking to.. a robot with 1 word replies. and then i just feel dumb asking the questions.

i dont know when you're going to read this
but when you do... i dont know. i've never been one for confrontations, especially with stuff like this, it's my weakness. you know that.
is this one of those things we must acknowledge? your call.

maybe we can both try a little bit harder? well, i know i will be trying harder... i just don't want to tread on your toes. i've been doing that a lot lately,in my efforts, or so i thought, in helping you.. in guiding you.

i'm sorry for all the things i said & for all the things i did not say.
my heart has been so burdened lately. i miss you.

maybe this whole sha-pow wasn't necessary, but
i just wish i could love you better.
anyway, this has been one long emo post. thinking about you keeps me up.
i love you and im here for you.
...................................................S4L
we're for life. we have no choice(: